Let’s get real

I love social media…don’t we all, but I found myself in such a rut awhile back based on perceptions and comparisons. I loved being connected to family and friends through this forum and being able to give a snapshot of my days with my now 17 month old, toddler. I began to notice myself becoming resentful and comparing my life as a stay at home mom to a former classmate who posted a pic of themselves sipping mojitos on the beach. I would often show my husband and began to annoy him with”Look what they’re doing” and then there were the couples always posting about their undying love for each other. My husband is anti-social media and I began to ask him why he did not at least have a Facebook account. As if professing one’s love on social media make sit more authentic. Theodore Roosevelt said it best, “Comparison is the thief of joy”.

It is hard to get anything done these days without social media (and with it) and it’s a great tool for businesses. Whether you are a blogger or entrepreneur, social media is a great way to catapult your business without going broke in the process. Social media has also brought many couples that I know into wedded bliss.

Facebook often provided me with what I call, our real life answer to the Truman Show at one stage in my life and at the present stage, social media has kept me from feeling isolated as a stay at home mom. I took the plunge and deleted my Facebook app and actually began to fully engage in my life and what makes me happy. I began writing again and focused on my friends outside of social media. I thought that I had the answer to everything when I deactivated my Facebook account, boy was I wrong.

I realized that I missed the support of my Moms group forum on Facebook and I began to receive text messages (not calls) from family members that were missing the daily postings of pictures of my son. My presence on social media was the highlight of others’ day and in trying to find a balance, I unintentionally threw off their balance. Ironically during this time I switched gears and moved onto Instagram. Parents that are apart of Instagram brand reps totally get it, but others do not and I have found myself feeling very ridiculed about this.  Instagram is the polar opposite to me in that Facebook has close friends and family who barely acknowledge my son’s photos or know much about me vs. Instagram has tons of awesome people from across the world who are so supportive and positive. Some of the 20 facts about me on Instagram have even surprised my husband.

Let’s face it, social media is a necessary evil these days. Life is all about balance and I am guilty of spending way too much time on social media. My husband just started working two jobs and I find myself more conscious about how I use my time. There are many studies claiming that too much time on Facebook negatively effects self-esteem, stress levels, comparisons, insomnia and overall satisfaction with life.  I do believe that there is a line. My line with Instagram was my lack of productivity at home and staying up until the wee hours in the morning in hopes of winning a $15 shop credit. My line with Facebook was feeling that I was not connected with family and friends and the fact that I was foregoing privacy.

I used to battle with the false comparisons, but I am now constantly reminding myself that it’s all smoke and mirrors and I too am guilty of it. My toddler is known as @trendytyler on Instagram and styled to perfection. That’s all well and good, but it paints a false image for those who may have had a bad day and are comparing their life. Know that I too picked up poop off of the carpet because my darling son has yet to grasp the idea of going in the potty, my back hurts from picking up the food that is thrown throughout the day, I have horrible insomnia and great editing, angles, and little snippets of my life will not reveal that my friend.

So….What’s the solution right? Let’s stop faking the funk and get real, for our authenticity might be someone else’s saving grace. I think that Instagram has found the answer that Facebook should be awaken to.  We all have bad days, we cry, we get laid off, we waste time, we spend too much money, we take pics all day and the floor might not be clean. We argue with our spouses and are lives are not perfect. Life is not perfect, but it’s such a great ride. I have decided to do my part by including some candid shots. As Anthony J. D’Angelo once said, ”Reality doesn’t bite, our perception of reality bites.”

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I decided to add a fav of Mr Tyler in our PINK Peace Love and Naps tee…. we just could not resist!

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2 thoughts on “Let’s get real

  1. I have just stumbled across your blog via justagirlandherblog and I completely understand what you are emphasizing in this post! Social media is a necessity with blogs and businesses but you need to know when to draw the line. You need to read between the lines because so many people post amazing pictures and funny anecdotes but what they don’t share is that it possibly was the only good thing about that day! I vote for realism and not perfectionism as basically I know that it is totally unobtainable! I look forward to reading more from your blog. xx

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  2. Thanks Holly! We are getting our blog ready for a full-on launch! We took some time away to step back and decide what we wanted to focus on and we are now ready to get started! Hope you continue to follow us!_ Brandi

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